A Good Divorce Model - Avoid Litigation
	Lesson Summary. Keep control over your legal process. Use mediation for much less cost, a more predictable result, a faster process, better family relationships, and more balanced results. Very few people benefit from having a court decide their case. However, be prepared to go to trial if you have to.

The Costs of a Court Battle

Both the courts and the public are moving away from fighting it out in court. The experience is expensive, time-consuming, emotionally-draining, and further separates all family members. And the results are often less desirable to both parties.

People who let the court decide their futures, always look back and say that they would never go back through a court hearing. They view it as a costly mistake. The financial and emotional damages can take years to repair, if ever.

Often the final judge’s orders are not proper. Sometimes this is because the various facts are not well-presented at a hearing. It is not the judge’s job to put on a case for either party. The judge is not going to spend lots of time digging out the facts. This is one of the risks of litigation.

The court process often takes 6 to 12 months, or longer. Some cases are never completed until after years of appeals. The party who feels that he or she has been wronged at the hearing, may start filing motions to modify the court’s orders (as well as appeals.)

One of the typical results of a court battle, is that the parties become more bitter. They are unable to maintain a good parenting relationship. The relationships among their extended families are poorer or become nonexistent.

The cost of a court battle is typically $10,000 to $50,000 for each party. Few are less. And many are more than $50,000 or more for each party. Because of intermediate hearings and/or status conferences, these cases typically take 1 to 2 years. Some drag out beyond 2 years.

See Chapter 32 for more information on the risk and cost of litigation.

Taking your family law matter to court should be the last resort. (But be prepared in case you must have your case decided at trial.)

Mediation: The Best Method for Relief

Almost all disputes have a predictable end result. Everyone wins if they get to that result as quick as possible.

The easiest, least expensive, and fastest method of resolving divorce and any other family law dispute is to hire an independent mediator.

A mediator is a neutral third party who helps both parties negotiate a complete settlement of all issues. The mediator does not decide for you. Instead, you retain the power to decide (instead of the court) and you control the process. See Chapter 3 for more information.

Collaborative Lawyers: The 2nd Best Method for Relief

A process similar to mediation is where both parties hire their own attorney, but they do not hire an independent mediator. Instead, both sides work together to negotiate a settlement.

The major advantage over conventional litigation is that the lawyers involved in the collaborative process cannot represent the parties in a later court trial. Thus, unlike traditional litigation where the attorneys benefit financially if the process drags out in litigation, the attorneys have a financial incentive to get the case settled.

See Chapter 4 for more information on collaborative law.

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